are you still at the devil's house?
I don't think brook has ever known best
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
