he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
3 2 1 whiskey
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
