He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
