Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
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well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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