Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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