The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
