True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
