Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
