It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
