Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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