ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
