Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
