This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
3pm strippers are depressing
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
