Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
