Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
cat food counts as protein by the way
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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