Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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