im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize