So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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