Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
