I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
