he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
