She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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