Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize