what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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