Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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