if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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