So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
