it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
