Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
