there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
