Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
