I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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