You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
