Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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