You made me cry and you don't even care
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
