She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Are we still banned from the library?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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