I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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