i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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