i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
