A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
