OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
