I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize