what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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