I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
