Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
