I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
