And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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