I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
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