The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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