How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
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Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
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A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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