Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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