You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
