But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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