Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
