She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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