Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
