guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
