I wish I only lived at night.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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