I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
