When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
